The Little Knyaz: Astana

Showing posts with label Astana. Show all posts

Monday, 7 July 2014

Life from the Frontlines: An Update

Уважаемые friends and well-wishers

So I thought as it has been around four months since my last update that I would give you a brief run down of things that have been happening in my life recently.

Here are the main events:

........

Это всё!

So this wasn't a complete waste of a post, here is Part 2 of 100 Things You Won't Find in Astana

11. Kazakh traditions
12. Mountains
13. Clowns
14. McDonalds (although there's plenty of Burger King and KFC!)
15. A real sense of tolerance
16. A single place to relax that isn't a bar, restaurant or cafe (or some kind of shopping mall for "middle-class" kids to walk around
17. A sense of history
18. Humility
19. Any bacon, at all
20. A way of bettering the country or achieving progression that doesn't involve just copying the style of other nations wholesale

So, that's all for now. Stay tuned though, because soon I will have something special for you: A Walking Tour of Nazarbayev's Playground! Oh yes, you are spoilt.

Until then.

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Kazakhstan, round 2

It's strange to think that when I initially got on the plane to embark on the Great Adventure that I never considered staying in Kazakhstan for more than a year. In some ways I wish I had stuck with my original plan (which is not exactly a great way to start a blog post), but when all is said and done (lol idiom!!!!11111one) I guess I can't really fault it; it was my choice after all.

Astana, capital of nowhere in particular

Needless to say, here I am in Kazakhstan. Like most people though even I require a change after a while, so with great trepidation I decided to make the big jump from small Soviet backwater to big-city capitalness (if that's even a word) and join the ranks of the мамбетский город in Astana, capital of the Glorious Republic of Kazakhstan.

But not straight away. True to my loyal, well-disposed self I went back to Karaganda for two months to help out there until their new native-speaker arrived. It was great to see all of my old students again (and some new ones too). It was still a very sad occasion, with such a big life change ahead of me, but ultimately it was the right thing to do. Sort of.

Life continued like it normally does; the students came, they were taught, I drank, and the world turned on its axis. Nothing especially bad or good happened in Karaganda, but I still think about it with a warm attitude, mostly because of its people (and the selection at the supermarket, omg it sucks in Astana). I like to think of Karaganda as a unique place in all of the world; a post-Soviet city that still retains much of its Soviet spirit and charm.

But like all things, change comes in its own time. Before the new native-speaker even arrived I was whisked away by the giant StudyInn-machine to take over the responsibilities in Astana of a teacher who left (hi Pat!). It's a very hard thing to try and talk about Astana in a positive light, and I have tried to think positive thoughts ever since I arrived, but ultimately I have come to one undeniable conclusion: I really hate this city. Really. Hate. A lot.

Where does one start on the subject? Well, I could reel off a list of exact reasons (in fact I have saved this for a series of future blog posts! Lucky you!) but instead I will suffice to say that it's like Karaganda with none of the good parts (and a lot of other bad things, thrown in). I'm not too sure why exactly everything is so bad here, but I have it on good authority that there are plenty of people who agree with me. Srsly. Whether or not I'll be able to last out the rest of the year here I have no idea. Your support is always welcome.

Now for the chronicling of events! Hmmmm.....which events?

Well, ok, so there haven't really been any events as such. The students here are a lot different(more lazy) and the work here differs somewhat(more IELTS classes and corporate clients). Of the latter I can only say has been an improvement; I enjoy the dictatorial-ness (?) of telling students what to do and them doing it, such as IELTS' classes normally are, and the extra pay is always welcome. Corporate clients have also been an interesting addition for me. I have taken on two that are particularly noteworthy: KazMunaiGas, Kazakhstan's largest oil and gas company, and the National Neurological Medical Centre (I have no idea if that's the correct name, and I don't care!). So yes, I am now a whore to the oil industry. Shame the pay is still shit.

I actually teach a man who was embroiled in a massive national political scandal. He is a nice, friendly man.

Of course, it wouldn't be "Kazakhstan" unless my students take me out for dinner, and, well, one of them did! The Director of the Geological Department at KMG, Murat Mukhanov, took the four of us (me, him, Bayan and his wife) to a Bavarian styled restaurant in the old part of town. I will try and get a photo to demonstrate that even some people in Astana are nice.

New Year was the biggest event on the calendar, and this year I celebrated it with my beloved. We watched Ирония Судьбы twice, attempted to toast with Nazarbayev (unsuccessfully) and ate more than our bellies could handle. Just like last year things didn't really feel festive, but perhaps they felt a little more normal. Pictures will come later. Maybe.

In a strange way, it doesn't really feel all that different here from England. Astana is trying to be a modern city with everything that that entails. Maybe that's why I hate it so much.

But summer is coming. Looking outside, the snow is starting to melt and people are starting to wear less layers. Hopefully in summer I can see something good. Who knows?

Thursday, 20 February 2014

100 Things You Won't Find in Astana: an epic list

So, as most of you think that I've probably been killed or kidnapped by now, owing to my lack of posts, I have decided to publish an epic list of my grumbles about the great(ly shit) city of Astana. This post is not a substitute for an actual update about my adventures, so please don't think that it is. It's more of a placeholder, really.

Anyway, while you wait for my next proper update (it's about half-way finished!), here is a concession for all of you Little Knyaz-ers (wtf) out there: 100 things you won't find in Astana.

The first ten:

1. Motivation
2. A wide selection at the supermarket
3. A cheap place to eat
4. Politeness
5. Good burgers
6. Happiness
7. Originality
8. Hospitality
9. Good bacon
10. MOTHERFUCKING HORSES

This list will be gradually updated as and when I feel like it.

As always, your comments are welcome (WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR COMMENTS?!)

And, in closing I'd just like to say:

KARAGANDA FOREVER!

Thursday, 23 May 2013

Capital Adventures

Приветик, друзья! It has been quite some time since our last encounter and, although not much has happened, I thought it was about time that I got off my backside and posted an update. So.....here it goes.

So, as a typical Englishman, I feel the need to talk about the weather first. Ever since the beginning of spring the weather has basically been whatever you can imagine. Snow, rain, baking heat. The mud has come, frozen over, melted again. Last week we received the wonderful gift of 23 degree heat, almost like summer! If you want to imagine what it has been like, well, you can't. Because you don't live in Kazakhstan and you never will!

Besides the weather everything else has been kind of predictable here; only a few events of note have really occured (some of which are significant, others aren't).

*Checks back to the last blog post*

So let the melee continue!

The first event of note was that I had the opportunity to visit KarLag once more, this time with an English speaking guide. For those of you who don't know (which is probably most of you), KarLag was one of the biggest gulags (forced labour camps) in the Soviet Union, streching across nearly the whole of the territory of Karagandinskaya Oblast (it's big). It was more sobering and less humourous this time around, especially as we didn't only visit the very touristy museum but also got to see some of the old prison blocks that have been converted into houses by local residents and also the baby cemetary. The deportation of such a large amount of different peoples created a collective sorrow that has helped to unite everyone and let them all live in peace.

Probably (one of) the most significant things that I have done would have to be my long-awaited trip to our nation's capital, Astana. While not really capturing the beauty of Paris, the architecture of Berlin or London, or the bustle of New York or Tokyo (it has more of a Dubai-in-the-middle-of-Siberia feel) Astana has it's own unique charms. Oh no wait, it doesn't.

Imagine that someone spent a lot of money on building stuff very quickly in the middle of grassland. Astana is not so much a city as the absence of everything a city contains except people, buildings and concrete. There is not much soul to this place, and I don't think it will ever have much soul to it; the way it has been built has seen more or less to that. Nevertheless, allow me to document what I remember of my glorious journey to our столица.

For those of you who are familar with Central Asian or Persian traditions (I would imagine it's very few of you) there is a holiday in April called Nauryz. What this actually celebrates and why it exists I have absolutely no idea; for me the added two holiday days (thursday and friday, no less!) served as a perfect opportunity to visit Astana. Later of course, I was to find out that the celebrations in Karaganda were much better, but that's neither here nor there. Let's continue.

On Friday morning I ventured North in search of fun and excitement. Karaganda is in the central Kazakh steppe, and pretty far from absolutely anything. If you want to build a picture of it in your mind, imagine this: grass, grass, grass, city, city, grass, grass, grass. This of course means that any journey outside of the city will generally not be worth it unless you are staying away from it. So bravely I got into a taxi (I couldn't take the train because my passport was still in Almaty, apparently being registered; surely it doesn't take four months to register a passport?!) and began the two hour journey, jammed in between big, sweaty Kazakh guys. Upon arrival, I jumped on a bus and jumped off when my friend and colleague Pat told me to jump off. I settled in with Pat at his apartment, then we ate a glorious plate of shashlyk at Shymkent (the bar, not the city) and went shopping. This was more of a relaxing day than anything else, and also a fantastic opportunity to get Pat addicted to the wonders of EU3. I haven't heard from him sense, so I can only conclude that he is still at his computer, getting the shit kicked out of him by the Golden Horde. Hello Pat!

The next day we ventured out into the city in search of fun and excitement! Unfortunately for us, there was no-one around (possibly because it was a holiday, also possibly because it was freezing cold) so we were dissapointed in terms of Nauryz celebrations. But fear not! We went sight-seeing, saw the huge Bayterek (it's a big thing that looks like a lollipop), Khan Shatyr (a shopping centre full of children) and other outlandish sights of the capital (in otherwords, not much; there was a Costa Coffee, though). During the evening we went for shashlyk with Rudy and Theo, our other native English speaking colleagues in Astana (from South Africa and Malta, respectively), and then later we ventured to a really shit ex-pat bar full of really shit people. I don't want to discuss the events that occurred here, so just be content with the fact that it was shit.

The next morning I ventured back to Karaganda (god I missed her!) in yet another taxi. The whole point of trying to avoid the police was however quite moot, seeing as soon as I sat down in the back seat, two police officers joined me on either side for the whole journey back. I sat still and didn't say a word the whole journey back.

The rest of April passed with more or less no action or excitement. When I wasn't working I was either going out with my new friend Ablay or trying to get rid of German house-squatters. Eat my food and leave me with nothing, will you?! Bastards!

May came and was far less eventful than I hoped. In Kazakhstan the 1st, 7th and 9th are public holidays and I had hoped that more would happen during it (it actually kind of did, but I missed most of it for a combination of reasons). The 1st is some kind of celebration of the friendship of all the nationalities of Kazakhstan (I saw some people out in national dress, but no many), the 7th is armed-forces days (I saw some soldiers, but missed the parade) and the 9th is, of course, the celebration of the end of the Second World War (for more information on why in the former-USSR it's the 9th and not the 8th, please consult Wikipedia). All of these days I spent with my new-girlfriend Bayan (or Баня, as I like to call her), and we had a wonderful time together. But we missed all of the parades.

Work work work work work.

Last weekend I was invited by a student of mine to his dance recital in the Miner's Palace of Culture. The hall was much more crowded than I thought it was going to be (though it looked like I was the only one who wasn't a parent or a grandparent) and the dances themselves were actually far more skillful than I was expecting, too. I can only imagine how dances like this would be England, seeing as how we rarely have these kinds of things in England anymore.

If the events of this blog-post seem a bit lack-lustre, that's because the situation in Kazakhstan seems to be settling into a period of semi-normalness. Of course life in Kazakhstan will never truly be normal as we think of it to be in Western Europe, but for me things just feel normal again. Naturally this feeling isn't so great for an adventure like myself, so I have developed a few summer plans. Stay tuned for them in a later blog post, which should hopefully not be too far away.

As usual, here as some photos documenting the events described above.